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Someone who I cared very much about, knew my kids, but was a lover — no more. We were emotionally, intellectually, sexually intertwined. When we broke up there was nothing to contend with grief.

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“But I said to myself, ‘I hope this girl can find time to process it all.

Divorcing people are also forced to face the loss of dreams of family life, and what the rest of your life will be like. All this upheaval and stress can leave little room to deal with simple loss of love.

When you are contending with a 360-degree life barf, there is scant space to sit quietly and feel the weighty grief of no longer spending nights with a person who you at least once — likely still — loved very much.

Trust me, there were plenty of late night crying fits and trips to therapists and a wonderful support group for loved ones of brain injury victims.

But I’m not sure I fully felt the gravity of my loss – our loss. Finally, I recognized that three years’ worth of grief had come knocking.

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