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When I was younger – and I mean from teeanger hood all the way until about three years ago – I was a ‘nice guy’.And I said the same thing as every other nice guy, which is “I am a nice guy, how come girls don’t like me?Second, I had yet another patient who – (I feel obligated to say at this point that the specific details of these patient stories are made up, and several of them are composites of multiple different people, in order to protect confidentiality.I’m preserving the general gist, nothing more) – I had a patient, let’s call him ‘Henry’ for reasons that are to become clear, who came to hospital after being picked up for police for beating up his fifth wife.” By even asking that question, you prove that you think of bosses as giant bags of money, rather than as individual human beings who are allowed to make their own choices.No one “owes” you money just because you say you “work hard”, and by complaining about this you’re proving you’re not a hard worker at all.

I’m hard-working, I’ve never missed a day of work until now, I’ve always given a hundred and ten percent.

And here I was, tried my best never to be mean to anyone, pursued a productive career, worked hard to help all of my friends. Even three years ago, I knew there were Henry-like people – your abusers, your rapists, your bullies – and it wasn’t hard to notice that none of them seemed to be having the crushing loneliness problem I was suffering from.

I didn’t think I deserved to have the prettiest girl in school prostrate herself at my feet. And, like my patient Dan, I just wanted to know – how is this fair?

But I did think I deserved to not be doing worse than Henry. And I made the horrible mistake of asking this question out loud, and that was how I learned about social justice. We will now perform an ancient and traditional Slate Star Codex ritual, where I point out something I don’t like about feminism, then everyone tells me in the comments that no feminist would ever do that and it’s a dirty rotten straw man.

And then I link to two thousand five hundred examples of feminists doing exactly that, and then everyone in the comments No-True-Scotsmans me by saying that that doesn’t count and those people aren’t representative of feminists.

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