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Most of the comments we've received are from women who feel devalued and disrespected by the fact that their husbands, boyfriends and fiancées look at internet pornography.
Many of the women who have written in have expressed feeling betrayed when they discover their men have looked at pornography.
Shame is much more powerful than guilt because feeling guilty is connected with a single act or behavior of which the person disapproves. Instead, there is awareness that some law or code has been violated in a single instance. It involves a complete judgment of the entire self as negative.
In addition to body image issues, women struggle with what is and is not acceptable about being sexual when you are female.
If the male ejaculates before he enters the woman he feels less like a real man and if he ejaculates too soon after entering the woman and thus, deprives the woman of her orgasm, he feels like a failure.
None of this is mean to imply that the men who watch pornography have these problems.
Both men and women experience feelings of shame around sexual issues but for different reasons.
For women, feelings of shame often have to do with body image issues.