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Myth #3: Polyamory is a way to avoid commitment Research by Amy Moors, a graduate student at the University of Michigan, finds that people whose relationship style involves little emotional entanglement often say they'd love a polyamorous relationship, thinking that they could have the benefits of coupledom without too much attachment. Joining a polyamorous relationship and thinking it's going to be a commitment-free breeze would likely be a huge mistake.
For one thing, plenty of polyamorous relationships are very serious and stable — Holmes says he's interviewed people who've been legally married for 40 years and in a relationship with a second partner for 20.
and others forming stable bonds among three, four or five partners simultaneously.
But that doesn't appear to be the case for polyamorous individuals."I'd say about 30 percent or so of the polyamorous population would say they think of one partner as being primary," Holmes told Live Science."A large part of the population would say, ' No, I don't buy into that idea of primary or secondary.'" Many polyamorous people resist that hierarchy and say they get different things out of different relationships, Holmes said.Researchers estimate that as many as 5 percent of Americans are currently in relationships involving consensual nonmonogamy — that is, permission to go outside the couple looking for love or sex.The boundaries in these relationships are remarkably varied, with some couples negotiating one-off "swinging" or partner-swapping experiences.