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By Dorothy Hayden, LCSW The New York Center for Sex and Love Addiction Treatment Sex addiction is not defined by the amount or type of sexual activity involved, but by the particular relationship the person has to compulsive sexual experiences.Anyone who has ever experienced an orgasm knows the tremendous power of sex.Those with sexual addiction, however, find little pleasure or gratification in doing anything else.The world is seen through a sexualized lens and the quest to duplicate the “rush” of sexual euphoria, over and over again, becomes an obsession.People with sexual addiction feel compelled by the sexual ritual to inexorably act out, no matter how much it betrays their values and standards of acceptable behavior.Obsession with immediate gratification through intense sexual arousal blinds them to the consequences of their actions and compels them to act in ways that conflict with their essential values.People with sex addiction use sex just as those addicted to drugs or alcohol use substances: as an anesthetizer that allows them to escape painful realities and as a way to regulate their moods whenever they feel stress or anxiety.As dependence on the behavior progresses, they typically experience emotional states that duplicate those of people addicted to substances.
There's an “industry standard” test which can be found at
“The perfect time for sleeping with someone is (between) three to six dates, more in the middle — not in the beginning and not after marriage.” RELATED: To be happy together, how often does a couple need sex?
Overall, fewer people, 19 percent less, considered having sex on the first date than they did in 2005, the data showed. In 2005, 83 percent of gay men considered sleeping with someone on the first date, but that dropped to 57 percent in 2015.
Intoxicated with the euphoria and rush of their own brain chemicals, particularly dopamine, their addiction is not really to sex, but rather to the intense state of sexual arousal (“the erotic haze”) that is an instant mood changer.
They achieve entry into the erotic haze through obsessive, highly ritualized sexual behavior.