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So, let’s say you’re at a bar on a Saturday night (and as I’ve said in previous columns, bars are probably not the best place to meet a like-minded mate, but hey, you’re young and want to have fun, so let’s be practical.) First thing you want to do is watch how much alcohol you consume.Getting drunk is a surefire way to make bad decisions.Douglas said Bacall, who would later change her first name to Lauren, teased the impoverished student about the shabby, oversize overcoat he wore — so she got him a new one. Crawford played an innocent flirt throughout their dinner, he said.But the instant the front door of her Hollywood mansion closed behind them, she tore off her dress, flung it aside and grappled Douglas to the foyer floor.My students aren’t sure what a hook-up really means, or how to find a lasting relationship when casual sex is the norm.So when the Newman Center invited me to speak to young adult Catholics on these issues, I jumped at the chance.This past Sunday I gave a lecture on sex, dating and relationships at the Newman Center at the University of Iowa.As a professor here, I teach classes on the American family and introductory sociology courses, so I’ve heard a lot about the undergraduate hook-up culture.
” Think about what you want from a relationship: Mutual appreciation? This, to me, is one of the biggest problems with the hook-up culture: It skips over all the emotional relationship and trust building and jumps into a physical and very personal act without the emotional backup.You can drink and have fun, certainly, but remain in control. Do you want to be popular with this person just for , or also when he or she is sober and making good decisions tomorrow and the next day?And don’t be above being a bit of a tease: You can hang out with a guy or girl at the bar as if you might go home with them, and then say—give me your number I’ll call you tomorrow.So as last night rolled around I had dozens of excellent questions and possible topics to discuss.In a nearly-packed room in the basement of the Newman Center (and with Daily Iowan reporters there taking notes and snapping my picture) we had 90 minutes of questions, answers and discussion.